The Doula Golden Rule – No Texting During Labor
Posted on:
March 4, 2025 | Doula, Doula Business
It’s the end of your prenatal meeting and you remind your client for the eleventymillionth time… No texting during labor. Call.
2 weeks later, at 1:45am, you’re sound asleep and you get a text…
Client: I’m not sure but my water may have broken
Doula: What’s going on?
With a 3 word question you just told your client that texting is a perfectly acceptable way to communicate when they think labor has begun.
3 Reasons why texting during labor is a bad idea
- The tone of their voice matters. We all know that texting can change context. We can’t tell if someone is saying, “Things are really ramping up!” or if they are saying, “Things are really ramping up…” What does dot, dot, dot mean anyway? Sarcasm? A pause? Are they omitting something? Implying something? There is no way to know. You need information and emotionality to assess your client’s needs. No texting during labor, get on the phone!
- Giving written advice or guidance puts you at risk. Let’s just say your client texts to tell you that their water broke. You text back and ask C.O.A.T (Color, odor, amount and time). They tell you they felt a gush which left them soaking wet. The fluid was clear, without a strong odor and it happened 15 minutes ago. You ask if they are having contractions and they say, “No.” You encourage them to stay home, have a snack, hydrate, take a shower, do some walking/squatting, etc. But be forewarned that if something goes wrong; if something happens to them or their baby, you could legally be held liable. No texting during labor, get on the phone!
- You can easily miss the birth. Many doula clients have a difficult time saying (or typing) the words, “I’d like you to come now.” Even though they hired you to do it, asking you to get out of your warm bed at 3am, and go to them for an undetermined amount of time is difficult to do. By text it can sound like this: “I’m at the hospital and my contractions are 3 minutes apart. They haven’t checked me yet but things are ramping up.” ß THIS means you should be with them! But, they didn’t say, “I’d like you to come now.” According to your contract, they were supposed to call, not text. But because you responded during labor by text, you have essentially breached your own contract.And the truth is, if you were talking to them instead of texting, you would have heard in their voice that they were ready for you to come. Or at the very least, it might prompt you to say, “Would you feel better if I were there with you?” No texting during labor, get on the phone!
As a 29 year veteran doula, the CEO of ProDoula and a career business consultant for thousands of doulas globally, I can tell you that several times a month I get a call or email from a doula who has a client seeking a refund because the doula missed the birth. It almost always involves texting… So… Get. On. The. Phone.
